Oprah Is For Men Too

A couple weeks ago I was having dinner with my husband and we were chatting about how our days went. After a few minutes of going over the usual everyday things he shared something that not only did I find funny, but very interesting at the same time.
He started off by saying "So today I was watching Oprah.... because nothing else was on...." Watching Oprah is COMPLETELY out of character for my husband so this immediately caught my attention. After justifying his choice in television he continued, "Dr. Oz was on and they were talking about weight loss. Apparently for every 35 pounds a man loses, he gains an inch in penis length."
My immediate reaction was to laugh but then I got curious. I asked him if they could prove it and my husband said there was a couple on the show who were there to testify this fact. The man had lost over 100 pounds and his wife was there to state just how much she REALLY noticed the change after 70 pounds.
My husband has always been a stocky man but for him to lose 35 pounds would make him a quite thin. Regardless, I did ask him if he wanted to test this theory. He has lost about 10 pounds but I don't think he will make it to 35.
If you have a man who is struggling to lose weight I invite you to tell him this story and use it as a source of motivation. The end result could make both of you very satisfied! And if not, it may be a way to get your man to start watching Oprah reruns with you.

Life Is Like Painting...

Every time we move into a new house there is always at least one room that has to be painted. I always get excited thinking about all the different colors I want to try and have fun choosing the perfect color. Then about 10 minutes into the act of actually painting, the same thought always crosses my mind. "Painting is one of those things that sounds like it's going to be fun... but it's not." Taping off, cutting in and painting coat after coat to get the perfect color is well... a pain in the ass.
Over the past 5 years I've experienced alot of these "things" that in thought are very exciting and fun, but when actually doing the anticipated action turns out to be not quite as fun. For example, when I got engaged I was so excited to plan my wedding. Most girls dream of what kind of wedding they are going to have for years before it actually happens. Then when the time comes.... yep, pain in the ass. Being able to plan every single detail to just your taste is an exciting thought. And then the time comes when you are actually planning the wedding. Almost every bride I've known has become so overwhelmed with all the decisions to be made and all the money to be spent, that about a month before the wedding they are ready to elope. The end result is beautiful, but the journey getting there can be stressful and sometimes painful.
Buying a house is exciting right? Even more exciting, selling a house and buying at the same time! That's right.... having to keep your house spotless every second of everyday just in case the phone rings and someone wants to come have a look at it is well... a pain in the ass! Having to get up at 7am on a Saturday morning and leave your house for 4 hours while strangers have a look at it... sucks. Hearing that this house that you actually thought was quite nice is well... not. And you got up early on your day off to hear that! And then when that person comes along that loves your house and wants to buy it today, you're left scrambling to find a place that you love and is available for the end of the month. Again the end result is good.. but the journey getting there is not so fun.
I guess in the end this is life. Everyday we are on a journey. Most of the time it's a struggle getting to wherever it is we are going, but in the end it's beautiful. We just have to remember this along the way.

Kill A Spider And It Will Rain.

So last night my husband and I were packing up our basement junk preparing for the big move next week. I got the job of sorting through the stuff under the steps. This involved looking through the boxes we had sitting there from our previous move, and deciding if what's been sitting in there over the last year (untouched) is really worth keeping. A quarter of the way into the job I came back from sorting through a box and headed under the steps to grab another. About half a step in, sitting on the cement wall less than one foot in front of me, the biggest blackest spider I've ever seen decided to greet me. For those of you that don't know, when I see a spider, I scream bloody murder. So, after I saw this giant spider crawl up the wall I screamed like a baby and ran out of the room. Yep, I screamed not once, but about 5 times while I ran up the steps and grabbed a fly swatter for Matt to kill it. Now, I have to tell you that Matt isn't exactly a fan of spiders either. Especially black ones. Every time he sees a black spider he's convinced it's a black widow and it's going to kill him. After a few minutes of getting up the nerve to kill this spider Matt walks over bravely and with one swat the spider drops to the ground.... and then runs behind all the junk I need to move.
Now you know when you see a really ugly bug crawling just a few inches away from you and it creeps you out? And for the next 1/2 hour you feel bugs crawling all over your skin? Well that's what happened to the both of us. After debating about if we should just leave our stuff under the steps as a housewarming gift for the new homeowners, we decided there was probably something of value making it worth taking this spider on. The only problem was, not only did Matt miss killing the spider he was now refusing to try again.
After demonstrating my frustration with words I won't repeat here I grabbed the fly swatter out of Matts hand and headed under the steps. I found the giant spider sitting on the side of the next box I needed to move, he was an easy target. And then something came over me. Compassion.
I thought about how horrible it must have been for this spider to be crawling around like he does every day, and then have me interrupting him by constantly screaming in his face. This followed by someone chasing him around trying to kill him must not be too pleasant. So then I get this idea rather than killing the spider I'll take him outside. Well apparently bugs don't know the difference between trying to save their life and trying to kill them. I spent the next couple of minutes following the spider around with my fly swatter trying to coax him on top of it so I could carry him outside. Every time he'd climb on, he'd jump off. Every time he'd jump off, I'd scream. And every time I'd scream, Matt would laugh. In the end the stupid spider ended up getting squished by accident. I felt bad for killing him and left the situation sweating and breathless from screaming. And this morning I woke up and it was pouring rain. Buckets of rain. Apparently the bigger the spider you kill, the harder it will rain. It doesn't matter if you were trying to save it's life.

Kids Are Funny

So yesterday my husband and I decided to go for a hike in Peterson Creek Park. At the bottom of the trails there is a sign with maps showing all the directions you can hike. We arrived at the sign a few seconds behind a woman and her two children. Now I don't know much about children so I'm going to guess when I say the boy looked about 5 years old and the girl looked about 7. The three of them were studying the sign and the woman turned to her little boy and said "Do you know where you are?"
The little boy looked at the map and said "No... where?"
The mom then pointed to the part of the map that says YOU ARE HERE and told her little boy "This is where you are."
The little boy took a second and looked the sign over before saying... "Well where are you?"
The 3 of us adults laughed and the woman replied "I'm in the same spot as you are."
The little boy's eyes widened and then said with utter amazement "Weeeird!"

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I spent the first 10 months of my life living on the street. A product of one time carelessness. Roaming aimlessly, picking through garbage bags for food, day and night, left alone to find shelter. Starving not just from lack of food, but from loneliness. No one to hold me.
I had nowhere I had to be. Nothing I was supposed to be doing. You might think a life with no rules is glamorous. Free to do as you please with no one to answer to. But along with that comes emptiness. It's hard knowing that you were born a mistake. Knowing that although your parents are desirable separately, when mixed together it creates a joke. I may not be brand new and I may not have been born with the most beautiful traits, but I have alot of love to give. Won't someone take a chance on me?


There are many advantages of adopting an animal from a shelter or rescue group. Please remember this option when you are searching to add a furry friend to your family. There are all ages and sizes available, and many have been placed there because of impossible situations, not because of any fault of their own. Just because you go to a "breeder" does not mean you are getting a better dog. Please do your research and explore all your options available. And in the words of Bob Barker "Help control the pet population, have your pets spayed or neutered!"


This is Linden. He is my Beagle German Shepherd X and the inspiration behind this post.