The Second Trimester

I've never really been a big eater throughout the day. I was the girl in the office that could power through the day with eating only a muffin. Well that all changed in the second trimester. The amount of food I could eat really was incredible. My co-workers would laugh at the sight of me eating my lunch at 9:30 in the morning and then running out for a full foot long sub at lunch. This is when my cravings really kicked in as well. I didn't crave anything weird, it started off with teen burgers.... I'd often grab two right after work and then go home and make dinner. You'd think that would fill a girl up but no, sometimes after eating two helpings of dinner I would still be woken up in the middle of the night with hunger pains! My cravings then switched to pizza, my poor husband had pizza two to three times a week for about a month. Luckily after that phase I started to crave subway. Veggie subs with 1 strip of bacon, 5 days a week for at least two months. I also had a fried potato phase. French fries, hash browns or fried mashed potatoes covered my plate for dinner. I didn't want anything else to go with it. You would think I should have gained 50lbs this trimester but thankfully I did not. To date I have gained about 35lbs with 5 weeks left to go.
For the most part I felt really good in the second trimester. It really was all about eating. I was still sensitive to the sun but nothing like how it was in the first trimester. I managed to have a great Summer camping and taking road trips. Perhaps the best surprise so far was that my lactose intolerance had almost vanished completely. I could eat cheese, a lot of cheese, with no side effects. I also indulged in cream based meals and ice cream and cheesecake from time to time.
Seeing our little one at our 20 week ultrasound was really truly amazing. This is when it finally sunk in that there was a baby in me and it was growing and healthy. We got to watch it punch and kick back at the ultrasound tech and the pictures we got were very clear. Deciding not to find out the gender was hard at the time but I'm glad it's going to be a surprise. This could very well be our only child and I want the full experience. I began to feel movement around 21 weeks and can honestly say it is THE BEST feeling in the world. I was a little hesitant when I first got pregnant thinking the movement might weird me out but it really is just an amazing feeling.
The following pictures are of me and our little babe at 20 weeks:

The First Trimester

I know pregnancy is different for every woman. There are a huge list of potential symptoms expecting mothers can experience and none of them are all that great. Overall looking back on the last 34 weeks I can honestly say I feel I've had it pretty easy. For the most part, my visions of what a nightmare pregnancy was going to be like have been far from the truth.

After the doctor confirmed I was pregnant I was still in disbelief. Maybe it's because I found out really early, between 5-6 weeks. I didn't feel any different until about 8 weeks along, but even then I just felt like crap for no reason. This was the point where I started to experience 24 hour nausea. Thankfully, I only ever threw up once. However the fight to keep things in my stomach where they belonged was excruciating. Many scents including laundry detergent made me want to hurl. I actually had to get rid of some of my clothes from early pregnancy because just looking at them made those feelings come back. I also can no longer eat vegetable soup for the same reason. At this point I also slept a lot. Not just because supporting your baby before your placenta is fully formed can be exhausting, I was trying to avoid having to face the nausea. The other major symptom I noticed at this point was bloat. I didn't look pregnant I just looked like I had gained 5-10 pounds overnight! I longed for the days when my bump would pop so it was obvious I was pregnant and not just over eating.

Some of the other surprising and unpleasant symptoms I experienced were:

• Excess saliva. I felt like a drooling baby. Every time I talked I would have to wipe my mouth!
• Sensitivity to the sun. Any time I tried to sit in it I felt sick and as a former beach bum this made me really sad.
• Migraines. I had to leave work a couple times due to spotted vision and flashing light in my sight.

Perhaps the worst part of my first trimester was when I learned I had to be on blood thinner injections. I had suffered a blot clot in my leg a few years earlier and now, as a precaution, I was told I would have to inject blood thinners into my stomach EVERY SINGLE DAY for the next 10 MONTHS at least! The needle was bigger than I expected, I was hoping for just a small one like diabetics use to check their blood but the ones I use are about double the size.

There were no really good surprises in my first trimester aside from my first ultrasound. However I still didn't find this as a defining moment when It finally hit me that I was pregnant. The baby was so small it looked like a seahorse and I didn't get to hear a heart beat until about 15 weeks.

Pregnancy

The truth is I have many reasons for being absent from this blog for over a year, but I have chosen not to go into detail about why I've been missing and just start writing again.

As I sit here, I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and on my first official day of maternity leave. I am no longer employed. It takes a minute to sink in and for a second I feel a surge of fear run through me. My life is about to change in so many ways and in just 6 short weeks I will be faced with so many of my hopes, dreams and fears. The road to get here has been completely different from what I had previously imagined. Pregnancy is very interesting to say the least. Over the next few days I plan to share with you my experience so far, what's surprised me the most and what I have found to be the weirdest symptoms no one ever told me about.

Growing up I wasn't sure I wanted children, in fact it wasn't a decision I made until a couple years after I married. When I was about 24 I began to explore the option. Even though up until that time it was never something I had considered, I had always wondered what it would be like to be pregnant. I found the idea terrifying and the thought of giving birth could almost paralyze me with fear. After my husband and I decided to try to get pregnant I convinced myself I would be the most miserable pregnant woman anyone had ever met. I pictured myself glued to the toilet bowl unable to keep anything down. I had visions of blowing up like a balloon and gaining 50+ pounds. I thought work would be out of the question because I would be too tired to get out of bed. Certain I would get stretch marks all over, I wondered how different I would feel about myself after giving birth and if I was even capable of raising a child and being a good mom.

The minute I saw the positive pregnancy test on my bathroom counter was the minute I realized things were not always as people tell you they will be. We had been trying for quite awhile to conceive and all of my mom friends told me I would know the second I was pregnant, that it was something you could just "feel". All I felt I was disbelief. Nothing about me seemed different and since I didn't "feel" like everyone told me I would, I was convinced I was witnessing a false positive. Because of this there was no screaming and crying or surprising my husband with our result. Instead it was more of a, "babe can you come look at this? Don't bother getting excited I'm sure this isn't real. I will let you know in a few days." Well 5 days later and about 8 pregnancy tests later, the doctor confirmed the news. I was finally pregnant.

Shane Banfield

A year ago today the world lost one of the most talented, friendly and charismatic people I'd ever met. Even though he is gone he is still influencing everyone that knew him and changing them for the better. This is the sign of a truly good person. We miss you Shane!



September 15th, 1980 - March 28th, 2011

The Personal Bubble

I'd really like to know what goes through some peoples mind when they feel they are entitled to ask personal questions to complete strangers. The other week at work I was helping a girl who noticed my wedding ring and asked how long I had been married for. No biggie, almost 5 years. Her next question also seemed harmless, "Do you have any kids?" to which I replied, "not yet." This is where I think most people would end the conversation or change the subject but she felt it necessary to pry further. "Well when do you think you'll have them?"
This was followed by a few seconds of silence while I took a breath and swallowed what I really wanted to say. Then I responded, "I don't know.... when it happens." After a brief break of questioning while she talked about her own children she then resumed the questioning with, "well how many do you want to have?" and "why haven't you had them yet?"
Now, maybe it's just me. Maybe it's because I have been asked this question so many times that every time I hear it now it makes me want to lose. my. shit. But really, don't people stop to think? I think no matter what age a woman is you should never ask her why she hasn't had children. For all you know maybe she has tried and discovered she can't. Or maybe she has suffered the lose of 3 unborn children and is too scared to try again. Or maybe she just doesn't want them for reasons that are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! What is it with society that feels the need to impose their expectations of life on others?
It's the same when people continually ask, "when are you going to meet someone and get married?" Does it really matter? Have you ever thought of how hurtful this question can be to someone who desperately wants to get married but it just hasn't happened for them yet?
I feel bad for a friend of mine who suffered a very serious illness when she was younger and bears scars from it. Almost everyday she is asked, "Is that a hickey?" It wouldn't be so bad if the question wasn't accompanied by a degrading look. Your judgement constantly reminds her of the time she was told she had cancer and had to live with the burden of possibly losing her life.
People aren't just imposing with their words these days, they have started to think they have a right to invade your personal space too! I was horrified to hear stories from my pregnant friends about how complete strangers came up to them to rub their bellies. And how after their baby was born they had complete strangers ask to hold it!
So what makes strangers think they have a right to ask such personal questions and impose on the private areas of others lives? Well I don't know, but it sure can be annoying! Please do not enter my personal bubble unless I have invited you!