So here I am, almost 37 weeks along now, and still not feeling how everyone I know told me I would feel when I was pregnant. Every time I run into someone I'm asked how much longer I have left and then that is always followed up with, "you must be so ready to be done!"
The truth is I don't feel "done" at all. In fact I keep getting my weeks messed up and shock myself on a daily basis when I realize just how little time I have left. I'm not overly huge.... Or at least most of the time I don't feel like it. I still go on the treadmill everyday and try to work out as much as possible. I'm not waddling yet, which could be courtesy of how the baby is sitting. I'm also not experiencing any pelvic pain or pressure of any kind.
In a way this trimester has reminded me a lot of my first trimester. I've experienced days where I'm so exhausted I nap twice a day; granted my nightly sleeps have diminished to merely 3.5 hours on average. I've also had some cravings that I experienced in the early weeks of pregnancy. Currently it's DQ double cheeseburgers where as my very first craving was for teenburgers. My feelings of disbelief have also returned. Maybe it's because we tried for so long to get pregnant but I can't believe it's actually happening. I know when we get to meet our little baby it's going to be the most significant and exciting moment of our lives!
Although I consider myself fairly lucky with how smooth pregnancy has been, there have been a few unpleasant surprises. First of all, the constant worry I've felt in regards to babies health is something I never thought I'd experience. I thought getting pregnant was stressful but it turns out pregnancy is even more so. It took 21 weeks for me to feel baby move and ever since then I worry that I don't feel it as much as others do. This could be due to my anterior placenta, but at this point when baby has lazy days I still get freaked out. The doctors have also detected a bit of an irregular heartbeat over the past few months. Sometimes there are extra beats and sometimes the heart skips beats. It was never bad enough for them to send me for further testing but the baby may need some tests after it is born :( I'm praying this will correct itself when the baby is born and there is no underlying issue.
As thoughts of giving birth begin to fill my mind I kind of wish I looked into getting a midwife. This was the year my family doctor decided to give up delivering babies so I was referred to an OB when I was 3 months pregnant. What I didn't expect is how long it would take to get in! I didn't end up seeing her until I was 30 weeks pregnant. I have only met with her three times and have virtually no relationship with her. The appointments were maybe 10 minutes long and I feel like she always has to refresh her memory regarding my file when I go in and has no idea who I am.
One thing that is kind of funny is how many hours I've spent worrying about labour and birth, it probably works out to weeks of time spent over the course of my life worrying about this. As it turns out baby is breach and I'm not going to experience labour. Due to the baby's position and the blood thinner injections I'm on, I will have a scheduled c section approx 2 weeks before my due date. Originally I thought this sounded like a sweet deal but now that the surgery is only 1.5 weeks away... I'm TERRIFIED! It's hard putting your trust in someone you have only met three times to keep you and your baby alive through the procedure. As someone who has always struggled with anxiety and panic attacks and hates taking any kind of drugs, I'm worried about my mindframe as I lay awake being sliced open. I also have this weird worry I will feel them cutting me open or stitching me up. Perhaps my biggest fear is that there will be complications, or I will start bleeding excessively and be awake to hear all the panic in the OR.
Hopefully in my next post I will have a positive birth story to tell you. Regardless of how this baby gets here I have some really great pleasant surprises about pregnancy to tell you and I know the list will only get bigger after this little one arrives.