Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Life Is Like Painting...


Every time we move into a new house there is always at least one room that has to be painted. I always get excited thinking about all the different colors I want to try and have fun choosing the perfect color. Then about 10 minutes into the act of actually painting, the same thought always crosses my mind. "Painting is one of those things that sounds like it's going to be fun... but it's not." Taping off, cutting in and painting coat after coat to get the perfect color is well... a pain in the ass.
Over the past 5 years I've experienced alot of these "things" that in thought are very exciting and fun, but when actually doing the anticipated action turns out to be not quite as fun. For example, when I got engaged I was so excited to plan my wedding. Most girls dream of what kind of wedding they are going to have for years before it actually happens. Then when the time comes.... yep, pain in the ass. Being able to plan every single detail to just your taste is an exciting thought. And then the time comes when you are actually planning the wedding. Almost every bride I've known has become so overwhelmed with all the decisions to be made and all the money to be spent, that about a month before the wedding they are ready to elope. The end result is beautiful, but the journey getting there can be stressful and sometimes painful.
Buying a house is exciting right? Even more exciting, selling a house and buying at the same time! That's right.... having to keep your house spotless every second of everyday just in case the phone rings and someone wants to come have a look at it is well... a pain in the ass! Having to get up at 7am on a Saturday morning and leave your house for 4 hours while strangers have a look at it... sucks. Hearing that this house that you actually thought was quite nice is well... not. And you got up early on your day off to hear that! And then when that person comes along that loves your house and wants to buy it today, you're left scrambling to find a place that you love and is available for the end of the month. Again the end result is good.. but the journey getting there is not so fun.
I guess in the end this is life. Everyday we are on a journey. Most of the time it's a struggle getting to wherever it is we are going, but in the end it's beautiful. We just have to remember this along the way.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Kill A Spider And It Will Rain.


So last night my husband and I were packing up our basement junk preparing for the big move next week. I got the job of sorting through the stuff under the steps. This involved looking through the boxes we had sitting there from our previous move, and deciding if what's been sitting in there over the last year (untouched) is really worth keeping. A quarter of the way into the job I came back from sorting through a box and headed under the steps to grab another. About half a step in, sitting on the cement wall less than one foot in front of me, the biggest blackest spider I've ever seen decided to greet me. For those of you that don't know, when I see a spider, I scream bloody murder. So, after I saw this giant spider crawl up the wall I screamed like a baby and ran out of the room. Yep, I screamed not once, but about 5 times while I ran up the steps and grabbed a fly swatter for Matt to kill it. Now, I have to tell you that Matt isn't exactly a fan of spiders either. Especially black ones. Every time he sees a black spider he's convinced it's a black widow and it's going to kill him. After a few minutes of getting up the nerve to kill this spider Matt walks over bravely and with one swat the spider drops to the ground.... and then runs behind all the junk I need to move.
Now you know when you see a really ugly bug crawling just a few inches away from you and it creeps you out? And for the next 1/2 hour you feel bugs crawling all over your skin? Well that's what happened to the both of us. After debating about if we should just leave our stuff under the steps as a housewarming gift for the new homeowners, we decided there was probably something of value making it worth taking this spider on. The only problem was, not only did Matt miss killing the spider he was now refusing to try again.
After demonstrating my frustration with words I won't repeat here I grabbed the fly swatter out of Matts hand and headed under the steps. I found the giant spider sitting on the side of the next box I needed to move, he was an easy target. And then something came over me. Compassion.
I thought about how horrible it must have been for this spider to be crawling around like he does every day, and then have me interrupting him by constantly screaming in his face. This followed by someone chasing him around trying to kill him must not be too pleasant. So then I get this idea rather than killing the spider I'll take him outside. Well apparently bugs don't know the difference between trying to save their life and trying to kill them. I spent the next couple of minutes following the spider around with my fly swatter trying to coax him on top of it so I could carry him outside. Every time he'd climb on, he'd jump off. Every time he'd jump off, I'd scream. And every time I'd scream, Matt would laugh. In the end the stupid spider ended up getting squished by accident. I felt bad for killing him and left the situation sweating and breathless from screaming. And this morning I woke up and it was pouring rain. Buckets of rain. Apparently the bigger the spider you kill, the harder it will rain. It doesn't matter if you were trying to save it's life.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Kids Are Funny

So yesterday my husband and I decided to go for a hike in Peterson Creek Park. At the bottom of the trails there is a sign with maps showing all the directions you can hike. We arrived at the sign a few seconds behind a woman and her two children. Now I don't know much about children so I'm going to guess when I say the boy looked about 5 years old and the girl looked about 7. The three of them were studying the sign and the woman turned to her little boy and said "Do you know where you are?"
The little boy looked at the map and said "No... where?"
The mom then pointed to the part of the map that says YOU ARE HERE and told her little boy "This is where you are."
The little boy took a second and looked the sign over before saying... "Well where are you?"
The 3 of us adults laughed and the woman replied "I'm in the same spot as you are."
The little boy's eyes widened and then said with utter amazement "Weeeird!"

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Untitled

I spent the first 10 months of my life living on the street. A product of one time carelessness. Roaming aimlessly, picking through garbage bags for food, day and night, left alone to find shelter. Starving not just from lack of food, but from loneliness. No one to hold me.
I had nowhere I had to be. Nothing I was supposed to be doing. You might think a life with no rules is glamorous. Free to do as you please with no one to answer to. But along with that comes emptiness. It's hard knowing that you were born a mistake. Knowing that although your parents are desirable separately, when mixed together it creates a joke. I may not be brand new and I may not have been born with the most beautiful traits, but I have alot of love to give. Won't someone take a chance on me?


There are many advantages of adopting an animal from a shelter or rescue group. Please remember this option when you are searching to add a furry friend to your family. There are all ages and sizes available, and many have been placed there because of impossible situations, not because of any fault of their own. Just because you go to a "breeder" does not mean you are getting a better dog. Please do your research and explore all your options available. And in the words of Bob Barker "Help control the pet population, have your pets spayed or neutered!"


This is Linden. He is my Beagle German Shepherd X and the inspiration behind this post.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

I Am Canadian!Eh


When I first heard Vancouver was going to host the 2010 Olympic Winter games I knew it was going to cause alot of problems. I knew there would be protests and I knew it was going to cost ALOT of money. Even knowing this I was still shocked when I heard of all the cuts our government was making. It is nothing short of devastating to see how it has affected so many important organizations that really need that funding to survive. Seeing this angered me and I was never able to fully support the Olympics because of it. I actually didn't even plan on watching any of the events after all the negative decisions our government was making. Two weeks ago when the games started I turned on my TV and tried to find something to watch. I really had no choice... the Olympics were on almost every single channel I turned to and it was either I watch the weather channel for two weeks straight, or I took a look at what billions of dollars can buy you these days.
It's been two weeks since I reluctantly began to watch these festivities that cost our country so much more than money. Although I can't say that I fully support the Olympics coming to Vancouver, I can say that it has taught me a few things. First of all... who knew that Canada had so many good looking athletes? Actually, it's not just Canada. There were alot of good looking athletes from all over the world that I was surprised to see! And I can honestly say I now understand why people find accents so sexy. Another thing I learned is that there is alot more to curling than just throwing rocks down the ice. What I thought was the most boring event of the Olympics has now become one of my favorites. I found a new appreciation for each sport I watched. I learned there really is more to winning. It's not always about placing first, second or third. Although I have to say, getting the most gold medals in Olympic history sure does feel good! The best thing I believe that came out of these Olympics was the Canadian pride I saw everywhere I turned. We really do live in a beautiful Country and it really is something to be proud of! I don't think there is anywhere else I'd rather be. There is no replacing our Rocky Mountains, our lush green forest and our abundance of beautiful lakes. Our wildlife and scenery is really something amazing. It's our outdoor living that helps make us who we are. I don't know if this awakened Canadian spirit was worth the billions of dollars it cost to evoke, but what I do know is that there are probably alot of people out in the world thinking about how interesting and beautiful our Country really is. People are seeing beyond the canoes, beavers and igloos and they are no longer just jokes. I hope that just because the Olympics are over, our Canadian pride doesn't fade away. I am very proud of our athletes and the records we set over the past two weeks. I am even more proud to say that I am Canadian.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Words

I love reading and I love writing. I love how much impact words can have. I read this quote about a year ago and fell in love with it. It speaks so loud to me. I hope whoever reads this will find some value in it.

"Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect. There is some work that will never be done if you don’t do it. There is someone who would miss you if you were gone. There is a place that you alone can fill." ~ Jacob M. Braude

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Never Enough Syndrome


This is something I've taken time to think about more than once in my life. It's looked me straight in the eye and told me to evaluate my life. I've seen it in friends and family and felt sad for them. It's something I'm sure every one of you have seen, just maybe didn't recognize. Or maybe you have? I'm not too sure where I'm going to go with this post. But here it goes...
There have been many times in my life when I've felt dissatisfied. Even when I had many things in my life to be happy about I still didn't feel "full" inside. Sometimes when I'm feeling down I go shopping. Sometimes I go for a walk. During these times I'm writing about it didn't matter how many new shoes I bought, or how many miles I walked, it didn't make me feel any better.
One Sunday after a week of feeling this way I found myself sitting in church. Let me just make it clear that I did not go to church looking for answers. I do not attend regularly or because I thought it would make me feel better. It just so happened I had some friends who went often and I had decided to go with them. You can imagine my surprise when the Pastor started talking about this empty feeling I had been experiencing. Although he was referring to this empty feeling as not having God in your life, he said a few other things that really hit home for me. One of the things he said was that we all have spirits in us that need to be nurtured. Although I was neutral to the debate on whether there is a God or not, I do believe that we all have spirits within us. So, I continued to listen. He then went on to the topic of how materialistic our world is. How we want and can have the best of everything in our homes, the nicest cars money can buy and the nicest clothes on our bodies. But in the end, we will all leave this world and none of that will mean anything. We can't take it with us. I left the church that day really thinking about life and how I lived.
Years later I still get that empty feeling inside. Every time I feel it I stop and think of that day when I found myself in church. I can't help but think that those words were spoken to me for a reason. If no other reason than to plant the seed of what would grow into be a very strong belief of mine.
It is important that your life is one of substance.
In the end it doesn't matter how much money you had in the bank. What kind of car you drove. How big your house was, or what exotic materials it was made of. It doesn't matter how many pairs of stilettos you own, or what designer bags you carried. You will not be able to take it with you. In fact you might not even have these things 5 years from now. But one thing that does stick with you are memories. Things you can think about that leave you feeling happy inside. Experiences.
So when you are sitting there surrounded by all these things you've bought that are supposed to make you feel happy, but you still feel empty inside, please remember that you are deeper that just the surface. Remember that there is more to you than just the flesh. Take some time to breathe. Explore your spirituality. Take a mental vacation and really look inside yourself. You might be surprised where it takes you.
I'm not saying don't indulge in the finer things in life. I'm just saying there's more to life than just the finer things. There's people to meet, places to see and a part of you that takes some work to satisfy. So if you find yourself surrounded by reasons to be happy, but constantly saying "If I just had a...(nicer house, better job, more money etc.) take a look at yourself, you could be suffering form the never enough syndrome. And nothing you buy will be able to fix this, you will have to look deeper.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Success


Success is an interesting word. As defined by dictionary.com,

1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
3. a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.
4. a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.
5. Obsolete. outcome.

As defined by certain members of my family... going to school, obtaining a high paying career, having a family and a home.

As defined by me... being happy with whatever you are doing. If you are truely happy, you are successful. I don't care if you work at a gas station. If you work hard at something, and enjoy it, that creates the value in it. If you are a single career woman and loving it, kudos to you. If you are a stay at home mom, raising beautiful children and making nice dinners, great. If you are all of the above and more, a super person that has gone to school, work, have a family and are working at saving the world, thumbs up! I don't feel that one of you is greater than the other, you are all successful.
I've never felt like I was meant to be famous, or overly successful. When I realized this last night I had an "aha moment." Just because I don't feel this way, doesn't mean I can't be this way! No no... I'm not going to audition for So You Think You Can Dance or Canadian Idol. I know I can't sing... or dance, and I sure as hell don't want to be famous. I just want to be happy. And you know what? I am. And that makes me successful.

"Fake It Till You Make It"


I confess. All my life I've had confidence issues. I've always felt awkward. I've been the subject of ridicule more than once. In Elementary school I was teased for having dark skin... funny how these days all those whities try their hardest to be dark and end up looking orange. I've been called a penguin because apparently my feet do not stay perfectly straight forward when I walk. In high school, I gained a few pounds and was subjected to rumours that I was pregnant. Which lead to rumours that I slept around. I grew up in a lower class family. This meant I could not afford name brand clothes, I could not afford to play sports, or drive a brand new car when I turned 16. Of course, I was teased for this as well. Even today, no matter what I'm wearing, name brand or not, I can't help but feel awkward in it. Like I don't pull it off as good as the next person. Sometimes I still look over my shoulder and expect to see someone laughing at me like I'm back in school.
Although being teased definitely isn't fun, it has taught me something. When you have a lack of confidence it shows. When you are a child, people see you as an easy target and pick on you. Sometimes you lash out and tease the person beside you in attempts to make yourself feel better. When you are an adult, it can truely affect your success in life. Employers will look at you and see that you don't believe in yourself, and if you don't, then why should they? Men will sometimes see you as someone who is either "weak" and an easy target to control, or they will see you as someone who has issues. Again if you are seen as someone who doesn't think they are anything special why should anyone else think differently? Of course there are exceptions to this. Some people see beyond your confidence issues and see the gem inside. But that's not what this post is about.
Lately my confidence has been bruised. I've had time to reflect and see just what has happened in my life lately as a result of my lack of confidence. I don't like it. So, now that I can once again see the light, and my eyes are open, I'm going to follow the famous saying and "fake it till I make it." That's right. Even though I haven't fully gained my confidence back, I refuse to let it show anymore. At the risk of sounding corny, it's true what they say, you can do anything you put your mind to.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I Like To Eat...

When it comes to resisting temptations... I'm usually pretty good. However when it comes to food... I literally have no defense. I like to eat. And by eat... I don't mean munch on carrots and salad. I like meat. Meat and potatoes. And Cheeese...
Lately I have no control. I mean, I will feel stuffed, but then I see something else that looks too yummy to resist, and even though I already have a stomach ache... I eat it. Lately I can't resist:

Cheesecake
Dads oatmeal cookies dipped in milk
Pizza
Chicken (Here I would like to recommend Montana's Herb Rotisserie Chicken with garlic mashed potatoes, gravy and steamed veggies) Also... I've been making homemade strips by cutting up chicken breasts and shake'n'baking them with a touch of sweet chili seasoning and basted with hot sauce.

I have started going to the gym to offset all the calories I take in. For those of you who know me, I've always said I will never deprive myself of good tasting food because of the calories and that is still true!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Dating VS Marriage


Lately I've really been reminded of how things change once you are married, as opposed to when you are dating someone and they are trying to win you over. While walking through the mall with my husband I saw a couple and the man was giving his woman a BIG warm hug. The kind of hug where you are wrapped in his bear arms and he is kissing your forehead and you feel nothing but love as he tries to console you because you're having a rough day at work. I turned to my husband and asked him "How come you never hold me like that anymore?" his reply... "I do." I stopped and thought about it... "hardly EVER! and I get no PDA anymore.. what gives?" he looks at me "we're married now."
Date night. My husband tells me he wants to take me out for a nice dinner. I'm sure you will be able to spot the differences here. About an hour before I'm ready to leave, I get rushed out the door without even a chance to straighten my hair. He's hungry and I don't need to get dolled up because we're married and he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful as is. (Sweet to say... but i'm sure this is said just to justify rushing me out the door.) We get to the restaurant which I will admit is definitely not cheap. While looking over the menu I notice a very tasty sounding luxury cocktail I'd like to try. MY husband looks at the menu and says... "I see there's no price, you can have one.. but just one." I laugh almost hysterically. I know he is half joking and half serious. "Mr. If this were our first date you wouldn't have came home with me."
A few other things that have changed.... #1 our sex lives. When it's not readily available (when you are single) you want it all the freakin time. When you are newly dating someone you spend 12 hrs a day rolling around in the sac. When you are married... it's always available and therefore you don't want it. It will be there tomorrow. So... being tired, having to work in the a.m. and wanting to watch your favourite t.v. shows are all more important than getting laid. You expect to just get some later... but them something else comes up.
#2 Farting, burping and pooping are no longer things to be embarrased of. In fact... sometimes you go into detail as to what is going on with your tummy and what's coming out of your a**.

Despite all this... the one thing that changes for the better when you are married is this. You have someone who is always there to be by your side when you need them the most. Someone who is constantly supporting anything you want to do. Someone who loves you NO MATTER WHAT. Someone who fulfills your every need. A best friend. A lover. And sometimes a shrink. Someone who you share a bond with like no other. Someone who will always answer your texts. Will never blow you off. Everything you could ever want in a person all wrapped into one that vowed to be by your side for the rest of your life.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Rich Get Richer...


I just have to take a moment to say... what the heck is wrong with this world??? There are so many people in this world suffering from hunger, disease and homelessness.... and then there's people (Conan O'Brien) getting paid 32 MILLION dollars to NOT WORK FOR 8 MONTHS!!! Am i the only one who thinks this is absurd??
First of all... that is more than enough to live off of for half a dozen lifetimes... second of all that's what he's getting paid to NOT WORK. And finally, there are countless "stars" who get paid even more than that, often in just one year. So here's the thing... if every one of those "stars" parted with even a 1/4 of what they make in the year... we could probably solve world hunger and homelessness in just a few years. So why don't they? Quit throwing money in the toilet and start spending it on what matters!
The rich are only getting richer....

Monday, January 11, 2010

Married With 4 Legged Children

Some people walk into my house and are immediately overwhelmed by my kids. It's not very often i find someone as animal crazy as me. Alot of people love animals... but don't necessarily love everything about them. I'm one of those crazy people that really loves EVERYTHING about animals. When i'm really in a bad mood i can count on them to make me laugh... somehow. Whether it be how they look at me, interact with eachother, or how they fart and clear the room. I love them! My brother got me a book about dog co-dependency for Christmas.... and maybe i do have a problem, but what can i say? They make me happy.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Sleepless Nights

I wish i could learn how to turn my mind off and not think about ANYTHING for once. It seems like no matter what i'm doing, all day long, i have at least 5 things on my mind. If i have something i need to do... i can't relax until it's done. So needless to say when i do try to sleep... my mind is flooded with about 50 things.
Last night i tried going to bed at 10:30. I laid awake for about an hour thinking about all the things i had to do today. And then what had to be done the following day. By midnight i was beyond frustrated. Not even close to falling asleep yet, my mind wandered to a few things that had really been bothering me lately. Since i was already frustrated by not being able to sleep, thinking about this other stuff really got me irritated. It was about 1:30am by the time i drifted off, exhausted from my thoughts. SO i'm taking this time to write about what's been bothering me in hopes of getting to sleep at a decent time tonight :)

First of all...
Good friends are hard to find. I mean real friends. People that accept you for who you are. People you can trust. People who generally want the best for you... and visa versa. I've been fortunate enough to have a few friends like this over the years. However... life seems to have made us drift apart. And now i look around at all the people i know and think... are they really my friends? I mean they are my friends... but i'm missing that closeness best friends have. There's not much more to say about this except i wish i was closer with my "friends" that feel more like acquaintances. If you want to hang out... you have to call them. And then half the time they cancel. They want to look in your life through facebook... but that's about it. They see you on the street and say "we should hang out!" but we never do. Who knows... maybe this is just the way of the world today. I mean half my family is like this too. But still... i miss the closeness i had with my friends growing up.

Second...
Im really shocked at how people react when they find out neither me or my husband drink alcohol. Is it really that big of a deal??? It's always the same reaction... "Really? You don't drink? Like at all? Ever? WHY NOT!?"
We don't drink because we don't like it. We don't like how it makes us feel. We don't like feeling tipsy... and we don't like throwing up after having one too many. On occasion... maybe like once a year, we will have a drink. But we really don't like how alcohol tastes. The only thing Matt will drink is MGD. And the only think i will usually drink is Alize Red. This is something that we were pretty happy to have in common when we met.

Third...
Just because we don't drink doesn't mean we have a problem with people that do! All our friends drink and most of our family does too. It doesn't bother us to be around drunk people, in fact it's just as entertaining for someone who's sober to be at a party as it is for people who have been drinking. So just because we don't drink doesn't mean we don't want to hang out with you if you are partying!

Anyway there are other things that are bugging me but i'm going to leave those for another time. In fact... i'm following the radio's footsteps and taking Ticked Off Tuesdays to my blog. And if anyone else has something to rant about... please, feel free! Sometimes it just feels better to get it out.. and i hear, it can help you sleep better too :)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's a new year! Again...


It's a New Year! I can't get over how fast the years fly by as i get older. I remember when i was a kid and being in such a hurry to grow up. Always wanting to reach the next big milestone in life. I couldn't wait to be a teenager, get to highschool, be able to drive, graduate, get married, buy a house etc. Well... all that's happened and now what? I'm starting to think always anticipating the next big thing in life is taking away from my enjoyment in the little things life has to offer. There's something about a new year that makes me really think about life. In the past i've made resolutions that would help make me a "better person." And while quitting smoking, saving money, exercising and volunteering more are all great things... this year i want to have fun! That's right, my resolution this year is to have more fun and enjoy life more.
In celebration of what i think is the best resolution ever :) i went shopping! Cheers! To the New Year, and all the FUN i'm going to have...